Saturday, November 28, 2009

Enough To Make A Lionheart Laugh

Also on the subject of ancient kings of England (and yes, I have been reading those Guardian supplements which were probably aimed at children). Richard I died in the siege of Chalus-Chabrol, owned by a rebellious subject, when shot through the shoulder bow a crossbow bolt. The wound didn't kill him instantly, but later became gangrenous and finished the job. Apparently the Lionheart had dropped his guard to break out laughing at the sight of an enemy crossbowman using a frying pan as a makeshift shield. Said archer then promptly shot him.

It makes me wonder how often humour was used as a weapon in warfare. Especially medieval warfare, which was somewhat less disciplined. When we laugh, after all, we are not entirely in command of our bodies. Sometimes we are brought giggling to a virtual collapse. And soldiers often have a fairly basic sense of humour. Were there cases of red noses being worn, fake breasts or (aptly for the times) foam arrows through the head? Did regiments march into battle chanting “The boy stood on the burning deck, His pockets full of crackers...”? Perhaps Richard's slayer intended using his utensil as weapon as well as shield in a full comic routine. There is surely nothing more hysterical than the sight of a soldier scaling a castle wall and being whopped over the head by a frying pan. It could have brought the whole army to its knees.

After the siege succeeded, the crossbowman was executed. I don't know if it happened in suitably ironic manner; egg whisks and wooden spoons being inserted in various orifices, that sort of thing. Probably better that we don't know.

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