High Time For Chico Time

So congratulations to Chico. The slightly deranged singer has been one of the classic Plucky English Losers in recent years, entering most and winning none of the TV talent contests which have sprung up like toadstools. But the publicity he slowly gained has had an effect. A record deal, now a Number One and a chance, on the Radio 1 chart show, to explain what Chico Time really is. It appears, from what I could gather, to be everything which has ever existed and ever can. First there was Darkness, then Chico Time and then came the Light.

Some people won't be happy by his triumph. There's been a lot of tutting at the talent shows, saying they clutter the charts up with a lot of artificial acts. But most chart bands have always been artificial. The talent shows simply make the process more transparent and democratic. Their main trouble is that the public as a whole seem even more conservative than the record companies' A&R men, something I wouldn't have thought possible. Anybody with a glimmer of energy or originality is systematically voted out as each series progresses. The winners are interchangeable clones with perfectly trained voices who belt out ballads oozing with sentimentality and devoid of any actual emotions; and if you like that sort of thing you should stick to opera. An oddball like Chico would always have to find a different route.

His song has energy and you can dance to it, even if it would probably have to be a rather strange dance. It's trash, of course, but it's fun trash and that's the best you can expect from the charts. I'm not sure I want Chico Time to last indefinetely (though presumably when it ends the whole universe will as well). But as long as the alternative is Will Young Time or Shayne Ward time, it will do for now.