My New Friends

Every now and then I wonder why, since I clearly do believe in God, I don't just stop faffing around and become a proper Christian. A fondness for certain types of sin may have something to do with it. So too has a fantastically low level of will power. But, less reprehensibly, I'm also put off by the community I would be joined. It's hard to like some of the people I would be allied with.
We still get them, these controversies when 'free speech' clashes with religion. And the most vivid are sparked off by the most ridiculous cases. A few weeks ago, still rumbling on today, were the Muslim protests against those Danish cartoons. It's hard to understand any of the passion which has suddenly been unleashed. My bemusement has doubtless partly been caused by snobbery (they're only cartoons, for fuck's sake) and racism (who cares what the Danes do). Still, though, if I was Mohammed then I would prefer a few snide and unfunny drawings than the sight of my followers burning down embassies. And they are only cartoons. And, really, who does care what the Danes do?
The rising number of Islamaphobes have greatly enjoyed the fuss, watching their enemies dive into self-parody again. But they are not behaving any more absurdly than some Christians do on occasions. In the West, free speech has had to be wrestled not just from the political right but from our own church. And some Christians still leap out to try and reclaim it and have to be kept at bay with a whip and chair. Last year in Britain they found a target in the musical 'Jerry Springer: The Opera'. Yes, people got upset about Jerry Springer: The Opera. Despite the very title containing two of the most pointless concepts invented by modern civilization, despite the thing itself being a histrionic, flaccid and unfunny joke to which the only reaction should be one role of the eyeballs heavenwards - and even that seems a waste of good muscles - people bothered to protest. They screamed and threatened and waved their little fists. And you see them more and more, it seems. Assembled in packs, shouting vitriol at artists who dare to portray Jesus other than a Renaissance painter might or at women having abortions to avoid ruining their lives. It's hard to know whether they embraced religion to justify their bigotry, whether their 'faith' created their hatred or whether the two feed each other, bubbling away in a vile stew. But these people have become the most immediate face of modern Christianity. More than the classic innocuous country vicar, more even than the ex-Hitler Youth member promoting the spread of AIDS by hating those who use condoms.
I wish somebody would take them on. Not just the usual liberals with their mechanical arguments about individual rights. Somebody from their own church, who could rout them on their own ground. I had hopes in Rowan Williams, but sadly while he looks like an Old Testament prophet, he acts more like a New Labour politician. But just somebody, anybody, who can scream "Read the Bible, fuckwits. Not just Acts or Paul's epistle to the bloody Ephesians either. Read the damn Gospels. Read John Chapter 8."
John 8: A woman accused of adultery is taken before Jesus to be condemned. Adultery was a big deal in those days. Under Moses' law, anyone found guilty should be stoned to death. But Jesus refuses to judge the woman. Instead he confronts her accusers with the words, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." A famous line, but not one that is heeded as much as it should be by so-called Christians. Instead we get lots of stuff about what Peter or Paul may have said regarding homosexuality and the like. Now, look. Peter was a camp follower who failed his boss when it really mattered; Paul a political administrator probably so critical of others because of suppressed guilt about what he got up to before he took that road to Damascus. Neither, I think, were the Son of God. The Son of Gold said that while judgement may come, none of us are qualified to make it. And if you ignore things like Jerry Springer: The Opera, they will vanish faster than you can say "Queen: The Musical."
Reviewing this piece, it appears to be full of petulance and vitriol and, well, intolerance. I guess that if I finally take the plunge, I'll fit right in.